How do I desire the man that does not desire me? How do I avert my eyes from undressing him head to toe? How do I extinguish the burning desire to take him, right then and there. Against all better judgement, I want to tear his clothes off and taste his lips, fill him with my desire. I want to pin his arms down, forbidding him to touch me; torturing him just as he tortured me all this time. I want to feel his essence grow under my grip and hold him with just the right amount of firmness and he will moan; oh he will moan. Now, it is my turn to play the games. I want to bring him to the edge and deny him full satisfaction; not once nor twice but as many times as I see fit. For all the sensory suffering he has caused me I will increase his longing to come to completion by tenfold, and I will look into his apologetic eyes begging me for mercy. To be released from my grip once and for all.

Then, just as he’s thought that I’ve had a change of heart and decided to fulfill that burning desire I have infected him with, I will release him without closure. I’ll turn him around and hold his body close to mine, exciting him with my tongue in places I know drive him dangerously wild, just as a bit of a treat. Holding him still, and my essence fully grown I will execute the full force of my wrath mercilessly. He will grip the sheets in order to gain some sort of stability over my power, and it will be no use. In another futile attempt he will try to gain some ground over me and I will allow the change in position, never breaking contact or losing momentum. Now, in a better position to accept his fate he will succumb to this reality, which is he desired this too all along. His longing then will be for never ending pleasure. His legs high in the air, he will clasp to the back of my neck and bring my lips to his and burning desire will transfer back and forth growing each time hotter and hotter, until we are both completely consumed. 

Justice had been served and I had shown him why he should never deny me, now I will demonstrate why he would never again. Without ever losing the intensity he now begged for, I will turn my touch to a more gentle and reassuring demeanor. We will be in synch. No more games; we will set on a common goal. We’ll breathe heavily together, bringing our mouths to each other’s time and time again and in this way we draw from the other’s heavy breath. That omnipotent burning desire, fueling every last bit of strength we can scrounge for, will act on us like a drug. Our breathing becomes more rapid and shorter indicating we will lose control at any moment. I will feel every muscle in his legs tighten around my torso, clinging on for just a few more seconds of the bliss I fill him with. I will look down into his eyes, and without words, give him approval. Together we will lose ourselves in ecstasy crossing a formidable finish line and collapse into each other. Robbed of our wits, we will have no words, for that moment will be inexplicable. He will look into my eyes and I into his as if to say “So, you see?” 

And so the man that I desire, will never again deny me.